~by Heidi

To the lady who rolled her eyes at me...to the woman who made me back my wheelchair up a good 25 feet to "let her by"...to the cashier who became frustrated when she saw me "roll up"...to all the glares and whispers: Invisible Illnesses SUCK! In a big way. I don't have a cast, I'm young, I look relatively healthy. Of course you don't know I'm 2.5 weeks recovered from a life threatening brain surgery, or that I'm not allowed to stand for more than a few minutes at a time, or that I have severe osteoarthritis and 2 types of Lupus, currently in a flare. Yes I'm smiling and laughing. I'm thrilled to be ALIVE! But you don't see the struggle I face daily to sit up in my bed, how painful it is to take my first several steps in the morning. You don't realize I have a migraine that NEVER ceases...ever...24/7, and that there is no cure for my rare type of migraine. All you see is a young woman in a wheelchair, with 5 children in tow (we actually wanted 7), and immediately place judgement.

The point to my post is don't judge according to appearance. You don't know what a stranger's circumstances are. You don't know how difficult it was for them to swallow their pride and sit in that wheelchair. You don't know how difficult it was for them to get out of bed.


07/02/2014 1:25am

I saw this on facebook and immediately shared as well. Too often people look and judge without knowing the whole story! I have arthritis as well and some bones especially my hands have already been destroyed. Yet I am only 23 and am too young to have arthritis, but if people took the time to understand they'd realize it's not just for attention.

07/02/2014 2:28pm

Your comments are heard loud and clear. You have such a beautiful family. Being a nurse I know.exactly what your going through with tberapy, medications flares, testing, and just a general loss of your independence. I don't just say it empathetically but also sympathetically.
I started out at what I love doing the most in this world, pediatric nursing. I love my children all three of them all healthy and beautiful. I in fact am a attractive woman as well. But just after my second childI began to suffer from migraines and co.stant tension headaches. Every Dr. I went to threw me on painkillers and dismissed me entirely. I ended up becoming very depressed and addited to painkillers. When the addicton was out of the bag the people I love the most looked.down on me. My nursing license was in peril. I was able to meet some.pretty amazing people AA and I took that spirtual ride and got.off not.perfect but sober.
However the pain became worse and.I.began to have new.symptoms of slurred.speech, muscles that contract on my entire upper left shoulder the. Lower into.my back. And then I was back on painkillers again. I finally found.a.great Dr. Who has been with me.through hell and back. I have a severe case of muscular Dystonia. I also suffer migraine that last for.weeks. I eventually had to quit nursing. I get those looks.when I pick up my meds and the bag looks.like.a.grocery bag. My family continues to say Iam abusing drugs and I'm lazy. Even my partner who knew of.this prior to our little.Scottish princess was born will use it to shoot me down. They can't see it and can't feel it. I was stoned by their words when I took and did.something for myself, breast augmented heheheheh....again a rain of words such as lazy, selfish, active addiction. But it's like you said don't judge me. Your condition certainly ismore difficult than mine. Props for being so pretty and smiling and sharing ur pain.I'm thankful for you sharing your feelings.It makes.me.want to.try harder in the face of others to look even more normal whatever that is. So from one good.sized family to another we all benefited from your post.I'm appling.for.disability. Wish me luck! Id.love to exchange emails or facebooks from you.

07/08/2014 5:29pm

Heidi, You inspire me everyday! I shared this in a recent post. http://cindypic.com/can-get-spoon/


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    about me

    A peek into the thoughts and  life of a Lupus Warrior, Fibro Fighter, Chronic Migraine Endurer, and Brain Aneurysm Survivor. Not to mention a happy wife and mommy of five beautiful children.

    Below are the ladies that make my daily struggles, less of a struggle...Thank you all!

Hammered Spoons