I know several of you can relate to what I'm going to say, and to those who can't relate, please be kind. Think before you speak. Think before you whisper and point and eventually laugh. We see it. We feel it. We go home and cry about it. My tremors are back...not that they ever went entirely away, as they are a result of my Lupus CNS (a fancy way of saying that Lupus has attacked my Central Nervous System).
As a precaution, we decided to record it to show my local doctor, just because of the sudden onset, and the way it eases and worsens.
I'm not sure I should have watched that video...or maybe it was a blessing I saw it.
I've always been embarrassed by the stares and snickers, but have never SEEN myself shake.
I don't know if it was the tremors that upset me more, or watching how hard I fought them and failed.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because this is the exact reason we have problems with "Invisible Illnesses". We hide. Whether it's from being ashamed, or just wanting to be treated normal, we've given ourselves that label of "not looking sick"--not that we are SUPPOSED to look sick, we just hide the fact that we are. This is something I CAN'T hide. But even if I COULD hide it, why should I have to? The saying "but you don't LOOK sick" would be welcome right now.
So to everyone who thinks I look "great" (which we ALL love to hear a sweet compliment!) here is what is hiding right below the surface...